Hello party people and welcome back to Cooking Through Hyrule! Was anyone inspired to make a crepe from last week’s recipe? To be honest, I kept wanting to make more, but I was too lazy. So I just thought about how much I wanted a crepe without ever actually doing anything about it.
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For this week’s recipe, I wanted to keep it pretty simple again, so I chose to make Veggie Rice Balls. In Breath of the Wild, to make this recipe, you need only two ingredients: Rice, and any vegetable, flower, or herb of your choosing. This makes it a very quick recipe to make, as you will most likely always have these ingredients on hand.
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Sounds easy and simple, right? WRONG. VERY WRONG. I thought it was going to be a nice, easy recipe that I could replicate a lot, but like most things in my life, things did not go as planned. Buckle up folks, because you’re in for a wild ride. You can laugh at my incompetence throughout the duration of this post, I won’t be mad. I’m just an idiot.
My first step was to cook the rice. I used the boxed rice that only takes like 10 minutes total to make. This was apparently my first mistake, as this type of rice does not get sticky enough to form into any sort of ball. However, at this point, I was still completely unaware that my rice ball plans were about to go south. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
For the veggie part, I chose to use kale. I personally LOVE kale, but I know a lot of people don’t, so you could substitute it with any other veggie or herb. This was where problem number 2 came in. I sautéed the kale in a cast iron skillet, which gave it a very crispy texture; normally this is good, but not when you are trying to mix them with rice in ball form. (Side note: if you’re looking for a healthy snack, you can crisp up some kale in the skillet with some olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder! It’s a good crispy snack.)
Now that my rice had been cooked and my kale was done, it was time to assemble the rice balls! I realized as soon as I scooped out some rice that I f’d up… the rice was not sticky AT ALL. Duh. It’s plain white rice. Why did I think it was going to be sticky??? Ugh. Once I combined the kale and rice, things just kept getting worse. The kale was too crispy so it just kept crumbling everywhere, and the rice was just… there. My rice balls were just sad, smooshed handfuls of rice with kale thrown in. Unbelievable. See below the result:
Basically, there was no successful part of this recipe. All I did was waste some rice and kale and make myself angry. Looking back, I should have used a better type of rice, such as sushi rice. This would have made them actually sticky and able to work with. I also would have used a different type of pan to cook the kale in, so it wouldn’t get quite so crispy. I’m not even going to include a cute little recipe and directions list because it was that pitiful.
I knew I would have a recipe fail eventually, I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. This kinda killed my mojo a little bit. Hopefully you all at least got a little laugh out of my first recipe disaster! What do you think I should make next week? Comment below!
Have a great week! 🙂
Cooking Through Hyrule 
Oh noo, so sorry this recipe did not turn out the way you expected! I most likely would of made the same mistake with the white rice haha! Side note, I love kale. I actually make kale chips at home as a healthier alternative for potato chips. I follow the exact recipe and ingredients that you listed but I put them in the oven and bake them until they are just a little crispy! Unfortuenly sometimes recipes go wrong and thats okay! Mistakes happen, especially when you are trying to replicate foods from a game haha! I would love to see some type of drink they make in the game? That would be interesting to see translate into real life. OR a dessert…always a dessert.
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This is honestly great I enjoyed reading your post the entire time. I love your sense of humor, its honestly very similar to mine. I love to cook but I find myself being too ambitious sometimes and I can totally relate to everything going wrong! Although it didn’t come out exactly how you wanted it, I still commend your efforts! Awesome job, can’t wait for next week!
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A definite yikes moment, I’ve tried to make sushi with regular rice… FAIL. If you wanted to try again you’d have to buy or make asian sticky rice. Your humor starts with the fantastically punny title and is so well included throughout your post! It really makes this fail of a recipe recreation into a successful blog post! I look forward to next week!
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First off, nailing the puns as always, and I have no doubt you could develop a cult following from the Puns alone. Once I saw you were attempting to make rice balls and then I saw the picture of the rice you were going to use, I instantly made an “uh-oh” face. Short (Shorter) grain rice is the way to go for sticky texture! Molds held as well, like small bowls! But anyways, the blog was a great read and enjoyable throughout its duration. I did of course only hope for you to make another attempt and show a successful rice ball! I look forward to next weeks pun and blog!
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This was an excellent post although the recipe didn’t work out. It was very funny and I enjoyed the puns. The gif of you trying to make the rice ball really had me cracking up. I do see how this recipe can be very difficult especially when there are so many different brands of rice, but I did really enjoy reading it all around and will be coming back next week.
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This is so good and funny! I know all too well the feeling of thinking a recipe is going to be easy and it turning into a complete disaster. The gif of the rice ball literally crumbling out of your hand and then the thumbs up is HILARIOUS! I love your humor and positive attitude even if the recipe doesn’t turn out the way you want. And the puns are spot on!
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I understand the pain there is in wanting to create a specific dish and having the scenario played out in your head and have it go horribly wrong. I learned the hard way, note to self:lemon pepper should be used cautiously. Regardless of the funny fail with the rice not being sticky enough, it was a good read! I enjoy how the blog isn’t straight forward in giving recipes, tips and tricks, it mostly revolves around your little journeys in cooking, and that makes it much more meaningful. Can’t wait to see what you’ll be cookin up next week!
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I did want a little more discussion of the ingredients from the game, how you came about finding them, and what the context of the rice balls actually is. Aside from that, the post was funny and most people would have found themselves in similar situations, which makes it also relatable. Cooking fails happen even to the best. Just remember to balance the cooking with the personal stories, and don’t forget the source as well!
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